Crazy-Videoz

They are low-budget, poorly scripted, and delightfully embarrassing…they are local television commercials and they are the tightest thing on TV. In every city and every town, there is at least ONE motherfucker with $200 and some bad ideas to promote his furniture store or shitty restaurant when you are trying to watch the episode of Judge Judy where Johnny Rotten is in trouble for slapping his tour manager. Although there are billions of horribly amazing local commercials, here are a few that I handpicked.

1.) So you never got laid because you are 36 and still live in your parent’s basement and every so often you dress up like Darth Maul to play video games with your other loser buddies. Why not run for run for School Board? This dork did.

2.) Alright dudes, I was all in to the hot jams and you singing about how “the meat falls off the bone”, but when you snap some footage of some cracker ass honkies biting into a pulled pork sandwich, you go from “BBQ Gangsta” to “BBQ Wanksta” REAL quick!

3.) This one makes my brain bleed. What kind of pitch did they give these poor people to be in their commercials? “Ok, so, we are going to make you look even more unattractive than you normally look, and we’ll have you dancing next to a fake dog while everyone knows how broke you are because you are so pumped that you only had to pay $300 for a shitty lemon…oh and the music is going to be crappy hip hop beats with vomit inducing noises over it. You in?”

4.) So these two sluts are on their way to a blowjob convention and this guy in an eagle costume takes a shit on their car…but wait, it turns out to be CAR INSURANCE RATES! Genius…pure genius.

5.) “Ok Rick, Thanks for coming to this pitch meeting. So the last eagle man commercial was great, just great. Did you want a water? No? Ok. So i need you to do another Eagle man commercial but this time i need to put my cousin’s girlfriend in it, she will play a woman with a man’s voice and moustache and then Eagle Man will come in and fart insurance rates on her? You think you could script that for me? Good. What? I’m sorry we don’t validate parking.”

6.) So what the fuck is this guy’s problem anyway? Did he just have a stroke? This guy couldn’t sell me a pussy sandwich with that voice…

7.) This hipster shit is just getting completely out of control.